Friday, October 10, 2008

Working through it

With a complete sprinkle of luck I found out one of my closest friends is pregnant. She had planned to tell us at the airport as we flew to our girls weekend in Arizona. Now you wouldn't think this would do anything but make me thrilled beyond belief but it stirred up so many emotions that I was stunned.

First and most important she is my cul de sac drinking partner, now of course she can continue to "hold and dump" like she has done the past 4 wks (aren't I observant) but that isn't right of me to ask. So I have to come to terms with the fact that she is out of the game for a minimum of 9 months (slightly less but lets just stick with that for ease) and perhaps a restricted schedule after that.

Then I suffered through that we no longer had matching families - 1 boy and 1 girl and what should I do about it - get pregnant to keep up with them, come to terms that we are different or just drink a bottle of wine and forget about it (I chose the later).

Then it occurred to me (because I think clearly when drinking just don't remember most of it) that it changes our summer plans - pools, hanging out not watching our kids, 5 o'clock somewhere parties etc and for that matter it just changes everything in general.

What is even stranger is I went through these same emotions when I found out my kinda-cousin wanted to have a baby - come on people why mess with something good! You think I would have come to terms that people change, lives change and I cannot forever stay in one moment just being happy!

So once I was done being selfish I realized what she must be going through (possibly all of the above) and more - bigger car, bigger house, less work, less money, less time to herself, more happiness, more unforgettable moments and more memories of her kids growing up as a family.

I guess my problem is I would have a shoe-full of kids if I wasn't worried about everything and trying to plan everything. I'm always concerned with not enough money, time, patience, space and how it changes the future. I will focus on the happiness of my 2 kids and reveal in the joy that will happen when they have 3 kids.

I'm so incredibly excited to be a part of my already pregnant friends life and pregnancy and can't wait for not quite yet pregnant kinda-cousin to get pregnant so I can live vicariously through her life also.

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